Seek. 24/7.

Well, Plumbline week is over, and with the end of that week quickly started our Week of 24/7 Prayer.
Plumbline went so well--thank you so much for praying! God really freed us from a lot of hurt and bondage we've been holding on to. Repentance and renewal are beautiful things. Humility is huge. And true repentance is true humility.
I learned a whole lot about myself last week. And I was set free from so much tension, bitterness, rejection, shame, pride, and hurt I've had basically my whole life--most without even knowing it was there.
It's a struggle for me to admit my weaknesses; I've spent a lifetime trying to convince the world that I'm strong, confident, and capable. But that doesn't leave any room for Jesus to move and work, does it? One (out of many!) of the things God told me last week is that it's necessary to expose my weakness. Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:10). So I'm learning to humble myself and allow Jesus' strength to replace my weakness. I'm giving up my own strength.
It would take an overwhelming amount of time to write out all the prophecies, visions, and dreams God has revealed for my life in the past week. (I would love to share them with you sometime, though. Get in touch with me, we'll talk about them!) But I would like to share the most recent revelation I've been having.
The past few days have been filled with 24/7prayer. That means that our Prayer Chapel is never empty. Every minute of every hour for 7 days there is always a person or a group of people in that room praying earnestly and diligently. As an individual, I am required to fill out 2 hours of prayer in the chapel myself, and as a large group we pray 3-4 hours each day there. So I'm in the prayer chapel about 6 hours or more every day this week. It's so great. :) God is really moving and revealing so much...It's such an awesome privilege to be a part of God's heart and will. So one of the things that God's been telling me personally is just to seek Him. I've felt such a burden since I've gotten here to start researching and studying the life of Jesus. And after Plumbline week being set free of a lot of blockages and hindrances to my relationship with my Father, I now feel like I can truly seek a daughter-father relationship with God. So in order to do that, I want to start learning everything I can about who God is and what He's like. I want to get to know Him, since He already knows everything about me. So as I pray and begin daily conversation with Him, I am now also pursuing a daily study of His Son. In John 8, after Jesus explains that He is the Light of the World, He then says, "If you knew me, you would know my Father also." Reading those words really hit home for me. I've been crying out to God for relationship with Him for so long: "I want to know you, God. I want to be close to you. Reveal who you are to me, Lord." Then I read Jesus' words and got it. God sent Jesus so that I would know the character of Himself. "Whoever believes in me, believes not in me but in him who sent me. And whoever sees me sees him who sent me. I have come to the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness" (John 12:44-46).
So, with that in mind, I've been praying about how to pursue a personal study on Jesus. And while my heart has been stirring about this, God keeps saying that I just need to draw near. I got two anonymous sheets of paper the other day. One said "KELSEY RIELAND: SEEK. MATTHEW 7:7-12" and the other had a vision God gave them for me. And I would (once again) like to type out my journal entries about these sheets of paper so you can see for yourself how God is waorking for and through me:

Oct. 24,  Evening Prayer Chapel

Ok, so maybe someone had this vision. I'm going to write it out. God, please speak or show me what I need to know through this if it is from you. 

Train tracks. A white picket fence is the barrier keeping someone from going onto the tracks. Suddenly the gate opens and Jesus is there with a smile on his face. That's it.

Ahh, so many visions for me to pray about. So many as in two. But what do they mean? God, why am I hearing things I don't understand?

Seek. Ok so I'm supposed to seek. Matthew 6:33 says to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness. Then Matthew 7:7 says seek and I will find. God said to Solomon, "if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and forgive their sin and heal their land" (2 Chronicles 7:14). And Jeremiah 29:10-14 says that God has plans for the future, and when I call on his name and seek him, I will find him.


I'm not really sure what happened to the bottom half of this post! It somehow disappeared! I'll try to revive it and get it back up as soon as possible! Sorry for the inconvenience! 

Plumbline

Today is the beginning of Plumbline Week here at YWAM, Tyler.
That means today was the first day I've ever heard of a plumb line. If you're like me and have no idea what a plumb line is, here's what I learned this morning: a plumb line is a physical means of determining how straight an upright wall is or needs to be. Here's an example of a plumb line:

So this week is dedicated to God's plumb line: God's heart. His heart is what keeps us grounded. The closer we are to His heart, the more solid we are able to stand. And so we're going to be searching our hearts deeply for the next few days...I don't know exactly what it's going to look like, but I'm excited about the revelation and restoration God has planned for me.

Outreach update: We've had a meeting or two already, and we really don't have any plans set in stone yet, but one thing I would like you guys to pray for me for would be my passport. My team can't buy our plane tickets until member of my team and I update our passports. And the sooner we buy our plane tickets, the cheaper they'll be. And updating my passport means making a trip to Dallas, which is about 2 hours away. Please pray that I find time to make the trip sometime this week with our insane schedule; pray that I am able to get a ride up to Dallas...since I don't have a car; pray that I (and my friend Tyler) can update our passports without a hitch; and pray that we can buy the cheapest plane tickets as quickly as possible.

And pray that this week would bring unity and strength within my DTS class. Satan really doesn't like the direction we're moving and the things God wants to show us, so we're physically, mentally, and spiritually going through trials right now. Covering us in prayer would really do a lot! Pray for the bondages Satan has in our lives as individuals would completely break...we want to experience the fullness of God in this place. 

Since I'm pumping out the prayer requests, please pray for Brittany, too. This is a hard week for her; just pray that the comfort and peace of God surrounds her during this time.

Thanks everyone! Love y'all!

The Journey Continues.

Ok, so I've had a few revelations about myself and about God and about life today. And rather than attempt to explain how my mind has wrapped around each one of them (there are more than a few!), I've decided to share something very inimate and personal with you today. I'm going to type out, word for word, my journal entry from my morning Quiet Time and then later my thoughts during morning Worship and class. Today is a very monumental day in history (for...many reasons). So are you ready? Here goes trusting you with my heart...

I'm reading Habakkuk and remembering the place I was in a year ago. I was hard-hearted and weak, but pretending to be sensetive and strong. And I went through phases in the past year, just like Habakkuk, who first cried out in desperation and anger. "How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?" was my cry. And God whispered all the time, "Look at the nations and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe." And I would ignore and question Him some more. And He would say, "The righteous will live by faith. Let all the earth be silent before me." My mind was hardly ever silent. Until the day I got on my face and said, "I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known; in wrath remember mercy. Though life crumbles and all I know to be true gets stripped away, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength." Now all I wanna do is constantly be in awe of You, God. Jesus, Lamb of God, worthy is Your Name. I want to know all about your love, God. I want to know what it means to truly love you and be loved by you. I want to love like you do. 

Lord, forgive me. I've pursued every kind of relationship but one with you. Show me, tell me, how. How you love me, O God. Thank you for showing me my weakness, God. I'm amazed by you. I desire you, God. I desire relationship with you. YOUR love is all I need. Not anyone else's. You and me, God. Give me joy and peace that only you can give. I'm alive in you. I'm ALIVE in you. How wide, how deep, how great is your love. Thank you for renewal of purity, God. I don't deserve it. You love me. (here God brought to my attention 1 John 1:9 and 1 John 2:15-17).

Come as you are to the cross. 

"This is how we know we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands. This is love for God: obeying his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God. This is the one who came by water and blood--Jesus Christ." 1John 5:1-6.

I gave in and read Nahum as I have been avoiding it all morning. I was weary of reading all the terrible things..all the anger of God. But He says it's because he's JEALOUS. He's jealous for our attention and love and worship. He's slow to anger and great in power, but He won't leave the guilty unpunished. He is good, a refuge in times of trouble, and he cares for those who trust in Him, but his wrath will soon come with an overwhelming flood. Lord, I want to flood the world with your love. Have mercy for a little while longer! Let us love as you have loved us, we cry!

Dancing. I want to dance with you, God. Call out the steps. Whisper in my ear. Give me the ears to hear the steps you need me, you desire me to take! I stand in purity before you. Thank you, God, for your love and mercy and confidence in me. Thank you for breaking down my pride!

That's my heart. Do with it what you will, but where is yours? What is God saying to you today?

Peace.