When I was younger, my 2 favorite classics were The Lion King and Pocahontas. I think the thing I mostly enjoyed about Pocahontas as a child was the music. The musical scenes are enchanting and gripping. An obvious example is The Colors of The Wind. But I particularly have always enjoyed this short musical scene:
I always wanted a Grandmother Willow in my back yard... :)
Anyway, I don't believe in spirits in the way Native Americans do; just to make it clear, I believe in the One True God of the Bible and in His Son Jesus Christ. But I love this scene. Pocahontas is asking how she'll ever find her path. Maybe even at age 6, I knew I could relate to Pocahontas in that. Because now at age 20, I still ask God, "What is my path? How am I ever going to find it?" I've been asking God that for a long time.
Making life decisions makes me wish I had a Grandmother Willow. Whenever I had a decision to make, I would just go sit beneath her wilted branches and ask; then she would sing me a song or give me a compass and I would know what I needed to do. (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSu4hOLYrXk&feature=related from 2:20 on...!).
The leap of faith I'm taking in going to Texas (in 13 days!) for YWAM is huge. And I have confidence and peace about it. So don't think I'm second-guessing that particular life decision. But there have been life-changers in the past that I've not been so confident about.
Relationships are...everything. God is a relational God. We have a relationship with Him, and we have relationships with the people around us.
Relationships are...hard work. Like a garden, they need constant attention, nurture, and care. And I firmly believe that when my relationship with God isn't being properly nurtured, my relationships with people begin to dry up as well. In the past, I have fully relied on my own strength to maintain relationships. And when my own strength failed (with more than one relationship), I gave up. I ran. Oh, what would have happened if I had been fully relied upon God's strength?
But now is not the time for what-ifs and regrets. All I have now is what I'm doing in the present and how I'm going to impact my future.
So for guidance, since there is a limited supply of Grandmother Willow Trees in the world, I turn pages in God's Word. And in my journal.
Before I share a few key Bible verses with you, I want to share something I wrote from one of my journals. My heart was in a beautiful place at the ages of 14 and 15. My 2006 journal is dear to my heart. I read it often to inspire myself...the wisdom and purity on the pages shocks me sometimes. At the end of this journal is an interesting page. Untitled, it just begins, almost like a poem:
"I need a place where I can go to make my world complete.
I need nothing, though, with the eyes of the Lord.
I truly believe I have the eyes of a Godly heart.
Eyes are a powerful tool often misused and taken for granted.
Eyes, technically, are connected to your brain, which is connected to your heart. This is the function of a worldly body.
A body of Christ, however, sees first with its heart, then mind, then eyes. -January 1, 2007"
It seemed so simple and natural to me back then. My heart, if it was accurately connected with God's desires, would make all the decisions that my brain wants to make on its own. So I sought to align my heart with God's.
Almost 5 years have passed since I wrote that. I'm working to align my heart with God's again. My eyes and brain have taken over in the past few years. I've strayed away from my heart. I've given my heart away so many times to so many things...now all I want is to hand it over to God.
I know He's the only one who can truly protect my heart. Proverbs 4:23 says: "Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source [wellspring] of life" (CSB). I know now that I can't listen to, follow, or guard my heart without God's help. Life simply isn't able to be lived without first guarding our hearts and aligning them with God's. Eva Liu said, "Some foods will naturally go bad if they aren't preserved; if we need to preserve our resources for later use, we must set them aside intentionally or else they will be used up. Likewise, our hearts have a natural tendency to be given away. Guarding one's heart means to save it for Whom it is meant to be given." Our hearts are meant for God. Only when He has our heart can it truly be used to its full potential in every other relationship and aspect of our lives.
Proverbs 4 continues, "Let our eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established" (CSB).
Psalm 37:4-5 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act" (CSB).
So as I continue to run after God's heart, I'll be praying David's prayer...
The Lord is my portion.
I have promised to keep Your words.
I have sought Your favor with all my heart;
be gracious to me according to Your promise.
I thought about my ways and have turned my steps back to Your decrees.
I hurried, not hesitating to keep Your commands.
Lord, the earth is filled with Your faithful love;
teach me your statutes.
-Psalm 119:57-60, 64
Peace.
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